The majority of us are programmed to “play it safe”, to behave and color inside the lines …. to adhere to “rules and conditions” of the society and world we live in.
We are taught to take a little risk, maybe a calculated risk. We are taught to take others into consideration, to sit straight, to worry about the unknown….
What do we do? We create a ‘comfort zone’ for ourselves, a bubble – often toxic – where we know exactly what we are supposed to DO, to BE, and to SAY. Some of us chose to live in this bubble for the rest of our lives.
We build a ‘cage’ for ourselves and we throw away the key.
Breaking free from judgment and expectations
Have you ever seen a clown? Ok, not a scary one, a really funny one?
The clumsy type, that stumbles and falls because he steps on his own foot? The type that bites into a plate instead of the cupcake because he gets distracted?….. I see the smile on your face, so I’m assuming you know exactly what I mean.
In the world of a clown, there is clumsiness, foolishness, misunderstandings, a little embarrassment – but also a lot of innocent laughter and love!
Have you noticed that no matter what happens to clowns – they always get up with a big smile on their faces and continue with whatever they were doing?
Do you judge the clown when he falls or bites the plate? Do you cross your arms and give him a disapproving look when he makes a fool out of himself? Or do you just laugh it out loud and clap?
Making a fool of themselves is what scares people the most. The thought of embarrassment, judgment and disapproval or feeling ridiculous can cause severe anxiety.
When you make a fool out of yourself in front of people – do you hear them laughing at you or with you?
Someone with high self-esteem and self-love – is always able to laugh at themselves because they accept, embrace and love themselves as they are.
People with high self-esteem embrace their mistakes.
On the other hand, when one’s self-esteem and self-love is low, being ridiculed can cause deep hurt and even more anxiety.
Once, as I was coming back to the office from the coffee station. I farted really loud as soon as I entered – because I thought everybody else had left for the day. My eyes locked with my male colleague who just witnessed the loudest fart!
I told him: “You can say something once you do better than this.” He kept quiet typing away on his laptop for about 30 min. Suddenly, a loud burp and a fart – and my colleague’s voice “I win!” We both laughed and called it a night.
The next day nobody called me any fart related names, nobody gave me ‘weird’ looks, nobody mocked me, the world did not crumble. I did something embarrassing, I embraced it and I laughed. The end.
One of the mistakes we make is to believe that we deserve acceptance, affection and love – only when we don’t make mistakes, don’t embarrass ourselves and our family or when we don’t say something inappropriate.
I say fuck that!
“Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up, make a fool out of yourself! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process.”
Accept yourself as you are
When you deny your ‘weirdness, quirkiness’ – you are denying a big part of yourself.
Is that what self-love is – denying parts of yourself?
Is that what self-esteem is – being worthy only upon certain conditions?
We can’t expect to do everything perfect all the time. Do you know how stressful that is?
We can’t hide parts of ourselves, pretending and showing only the ‘good’ side of us. That’s really exhausting.
Once you allow yourself to accept all your ‘flaws’, strengths, mistakes, fails, successes – accept ALL OF YOU– the world will become what you always wanted.
For one day, do something foolish. Be a clown in your own show.
Put on a superhero costume and grab a cup of coffee.
Make silly faces at a kid who is playing peek-a-boo with you while waiting at the grocery store.
Heck, make silly faces at yourself in the mirror!
Nothing feels like freedom when you ‘free’ yourself from worrying what people think.
We know YOU CAN! Do you?