We all have been tempted at one point or another, haven’t we?
From eating the whole cake to getting a new pair of shoes or a gadget we don’t need – to the downright harmful and dangerous such as a burst of violence, extramarital affair or substance abuse.
We’ve witnessed so many political indiscretions, celebrities “oopsies”. What did we learn from that? Resisting temptation can be extremely challenging.
Nobody is safe from temptation, but nothing makes it clearer – and scarier – how powerful craving and desire can be – than by watching a person’s life unraveling because he or she ‘gave in’.
Allow me to share with you how we help our clients resist temptation and live a happy and vital life.
Temptations are habits
Temptation is everywhere, you don’t even have to look for it. It’s just there.
I see temptations as “habits”, as reward-motivation responses in the brain.
Habits are 3-step process where you:
- are cued to take action by something in your environment,
- take action in response to the cue and
- reap rewards from the action you took.
Rewards don’t always mean it is positive.
Somebody who is on a diet sees a cookie (the cue), gives into the temptation to eat it (the action) then feels regretful (the “reward”).
The good news is, as with every habit, it can be unlearned.
Usually, we end up regretting when we give in, or even when we don’t.
Guilt, shame and anxiety – they all come rushing down – even before we are done with our temptation.
We’ve been taught to associate temptation with weakness, as being tested and challenged. The seductive devil that leads us astray.
Are we really that weak?
Stop priming yourself for temptation
We rarely talk about the reasons we are faced with temptation. It is rooted in us, not in the outside world.
It is there because we attract it, knowingly or unknowingly.
When I wake up, I prime myself for an amazing day. I set myself up to have a productive and powerful day. I also use it to master my emotions as it gives me a moment to breathe and respond – instead of reacting.
Simply explained – priming is like practising law of attraction.
It works both ways though. If you are focusing on positivity, you will see and experience more positivity.
However, if you focus on negativity and hardship, you will attract and experience more negativity and hardship.
Let’s take weight loss as an example.
We all know that to maintain our weight, calories eaten equals calories burned.
If you eat more than what you burn, you gain weight.
If you eat less, you lose weight.
It really is that simple on a biological level. But, as you are aware – it’s incredibly hard to apply and achieve.
If I tell you that you CANNOT eat sweets and bread, all you will think about is how much you want to eat sweets and bread. You will see it and smell it everywhere. You will imagine the taste in your mouth, how it crumbles….
Yes, you might stick to the diet for a couple of weeks.
Yes, you will lose some weight.
But after you are done with the diet, you will succumb to your temptations and you gain all the weight again.
Or you start “yo’yo-ing”.
Because the majority of us are focusing on what we CANNOT DO, rather than what we CAN DO.
And if you can’t do something, that’s all you think about.
It occupies your mind all the time, it takes you over from the inside. You will turn into Gollum (that weird, selfish creature from Lord of the Rings)
This is one of the main reasons why I would never advise my client to follow any deprivation or fad diet.
At M-Unity, we don’t teach clients how to avoid temptations. Because it is impossible. We cannot avoid temptation. Unless we live under a rock!
We help them to find their BIG WHY.
We help them to find what motivates them.
The big why that is so strong that no temptation can lead them astray.
The motivation that will turn into discipline and new habits.
We teach our clients how to create new, healthier habits that last a lifetime.
We teach them how to be vital and happy again, how to make better choices.
We give them tools for creating habits that are aligned with their values.
No need to keep stressing and avoiding temptations.
Let us help you to create new habits, new lifestyles.
Live your life free from temptation.
I know YOU CAN! Do YOU?